How To Be Resilient – 7 Ways To Become Mentally Strong
I can’t stress how important it is in a world that often throws everything at you to beat you down, to be resilient. You see, people who are resilient possess the unique ability to see the world through an entirely different lens from most ordinary people.
They possess most of the following qualities:
- Better handling of challenges.
- Improved communication.
- Reduced burnout and presenteeism.
- Creating a competitive business.
- Setting realistic expectations.
- Better relationships amongst colleagues.
- Open to upskilling and developing.
- Good organization and time management.
- Willingness to give and receive support. As you can see, having a resilient team brings countless benefits. There are really no downsides to helping people become more resilient.
But for the rest of us, we have all been there haven’t we, times in our lives where we are so down and frustrated that we can’t seem to find a way out.
Everywhere we turn, there are issues, worries, and concerns that we can’t seem to overcome.
At this moment think about what you are most worried about, perhaps you don’t have enough money to pay your bills.
Or are you worried about your children, or work? Maybe you’re going through problems with your partner.
No matter what it is, none of us, and that includes you, are given a pass to escape our problems.
We all know that they come at us on a regular basis and that they happen to everyone. The difference between those of us who worry relentlessly about these things, and others who do not, is how we end up processing our individual challenges.
Each of us approaches our concerns very differently. You should know, however, that worrying is not a natural state of mind but the concern is.
So what makes us so different.
What are the 7 traits of the most Phenomenally Resilient People that make them find another gear, so they can recover from a difficult situation and bounce back, leaving the rest of us behind?
1 Focus
They know how to create space to focus.
What does this mean, well they understand the big picture
It’s called ‘big picture thinking’
And it stops phenomenally resilient people from allowing anyone or anything to emotionally and psychologically bring them down.
Engineering Management Institute states leaders are typically viewed as embracing “big picture thinking”. People tend to follow those who have an understanding of where they are headed and where others need to go as well.
And this is a large part of being resilient.
And you can do the same.
Here’s an illustrative story about three stonecutters It provides a good image of what big picture thinking is:
One day a traveler, walking along a lane, came across three stonecutters working in a quarry. Each was busy cutting a block of stone. Interested to find out what they were working on, the traveler asked the first stonecutter what he was doing. “I am cutting a stone!”
Still, no wiser the traveler turned to the second stonecutter and asked him what he was doing. “I am cutting this block of stone to make sure that it’s square, and its dimensions are uniform so that it will fit exactly in its place in a wall.
A bit closer to finding out what the stonecutters were working on but still unclear, the traveler turned to the third stonecutter. He seemed to be the happiest of the three and when asked what he was doing replied: “I am building a cathedral.”
All three stonecutters were correct in their answers, but the third had his big picture glasses on. He had an understanding of what his actions in the quarry were aiming at and that his contributions were part of something larger. In this case, a cathedral.
So how can you become focussed
Well Roy T Bennet was right when he said
“Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses. Focus on your character, not your reputation. Focus on your blessings, not your misfortunes.”
― Roy T. Bennett,
Staying focused on big picture thinking is something you need to be doing routinely to become phenomenally resilient
So think about what your strengths are,
What is your weakness, think about how you can build your character and what you have to be grateful for.
2 Flexibility – To Overcome Fears And Establish Self-Assurance
The second Personal Core Value of Phenomenally Resilient People is their ability to be flexible.
Being flexible will help you develop the right mindset for rapid personal growth because you aren’t stuck in a rut, but are mentally agile and able to adapt and evolve to different circumstances no matter how difficult things get. It helps you to become more emotionally intelligent
So what does it take to become agile and mentally flexible: well my myfitnesspal.com
Being flexible in life requires asking yourself the tough questions to continue to learn. Understand your triggers. Recognize your hot buttons and true desires. You will understand you can be selfless yet put nothing above your own peace. That means walking away from people and things that cause too much friction.
Sit with yourself and ask yourself the tough questions. Use your breath to relax and connect your body with your mind. Then, remind yourself that you don’t have to allow anyone or anything to get in the way of your peace. Be fluid, begin to adapt, and find flexibility.
My Fitness Pal.com also believes that the best way to build flexibility and resilience is to be like a child.
What is the one thing a child always asks you? It’s ‘why?’ Half the time, we may not know the answer. But that really doesn’t matter; what matters is that we stopped for a second and questioned the status quo. That’s what makes children awesome; they have no walls built yet. They have no blinders or biases and see the world in its purest form.
Reconnect with your inner kid and ask “why?” more often. Why can’t I sleep at night? Or, why is it that I don’t enjoy my job anymore? Don’t be afraid to ask your adult self the tough questions and stop to take in life occasionally.
Forbes.com states we should concentrate on our head, heart, and gut.
What are they telling you?
Is it time to get a new job?
To get out of a bad relationship?
If you ignore any of these factors the likelihood of you showing enhanced resilience is diminished.
The Fine Art of Being Flexible | Wellness | MyFitnessPal
3 Problem Solving
You see, phenomenally resilient are able to channel a problem into a success story.
And this has happened the world over with people that we know such as
- Albert Einstein – had a learning disability. This is the same genius Albert Einstein who is known for the theories of relativity he didn’t talk until he was 3 …
- Richard Branson – Suffers from Dyslexia. But according to a research study. He is the 12th richest person in the UK worth 5.1 billion.
- Marlee Matlin. – one of the beautiful actresses is the only deaf performer to receive won the1987 Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal of the beautiful but embittered deaf girl in Children of a Lesser God..
- Helen Keller was the first deaf and blind person to earn a college degree. (As explained by stillunfold.com)
How are you able to problem-solve: Forbes.com refers to it as Reframing Obstacles As ‘Stepping Stones’
This involves making a problem the means to create a solution.
And, express gratitude daily for each stepping stone that you’ve found
How?
Well, WikiHow.com provides a really great explanation, they say we should:
Define the problem. Find the real problem, not just the symptoms that result from the problem. Don’t think about external things only about what the actual problem is. You can consider the other issues later. Become familiar with the problem and understand it fully.
- For example, if your room is constantly messy, the problem might not be that you’re a messy person. It might be that you lack containers or places to put your items in an organized way.
- Try to be as clear and thorough as possible when defining the problem. If it is a personal issue, be honest with yourself as to the causes of the problem. If it is a logistics problem, determine exactly where and when the problem occurs.
- Determine whether the problem is real or self-created. Do you need to solve this problem or is this about something you want? Putting things in perspective can help you navigate the problem-solving process.
Make important decisions first. Recognize the decisions you need to make and how they will contribute to solving your problem. Making decisions can help you move forward in solving your problems, so start by deciding on what to focus on, what needs to get done, and how you will go about doing it.[2]
- For example, you might have several problems to solve and need to decide which ones to tackle first. Solving one problem may ease tension or take the stress off of another problem.
- Once you make a decision, don’t doubt yourself. Be willing to look forward from that point on without wondering what would have happened had you chosen something else.
Simplify the problem. An overly-complicated problem can feel overwhelming and be difficult to solve. If there are multiple problems, break them down into smaller parts and deal with them individually. If you can break the problem down into the smallest terms, this will help you in understanding it and finding a solution.[3]
- For example, if you need to turn in many assignments to pass a class, focus on how many you have to do and approach them one by one.
- Try to combine and solve problems together whenever possible. For example, if you’re running out of time to study, try listening to a recorded lecture while walking to class or flipping through note cards as you’re waiting for dinner.
- Try journaling about the problem to help get clarity around it. It can even help you separate emotion from fact, which may help you in the decision-making process.
The most resilient people are able to problem solve using these techniques and you can too.
4 Be Pragmatic
The forth way to become resilient is to become more pragmatic.
Being pragmatic will enable you to push past failures while remaining more positive and realistic.
And the most Phenomenally Resilient People in the world know that it’s the end result that matters, what you can achieve focus on the big picture and by being pragmatic.
The dictionary states It’s about ‘dealing or being concerned with facts or actual occurrences;
It’s about the facts
So, it relates to what is really happening not what you think is happening.
So you’re in a relationship do you become more resilient. According to Refinery 29.com
“If you date consciously, [you’re] aware of what your fundamental, non-negotiable requirements are in a relationship. These are value-, belief-, or goal-based factors without which there is no relationship. This is your gateway criteria. If they don’t have this, don’t go there — even if the chemistry is crazy.
Refinery29.com states embracing pragmatism in your personal life often leads to lasting satisfaction.
It gives you the ability to make informed choices.
The philosophy.com
Pragmatism is a doctrine that knowledge should be used to act on things. They say an idea is indeed true if it has practical efficiency. Pragmatism is the Theory that the intelligence function is not to know to find but to know to act.
If you’re in a bad relationship and it’s knocking you for six.
Think about what it is in pragmatic practical terms?
This eBook is designed to help you on your journey to becoming resilient and understanding your value. The book is called –
7 Core Values of The Most Phenomenally Successful People
I wrote this eBook to encourage and inspire you to copy the habits of successful people and become like them.
It was Mae West who said –
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
This statement sums up the ethos of this eBook which will take you step-by-step to embrace your best self and become phenomenally successful.
How do you achieve this?
Tapping into your powerful personal core values that you may not even know you have but, can take your life to the next level and allow you to become phenomenally successful.
It’s not about where you are now, where you come from, or even how much money you have, it’s about using what you have to build your own unique style of success.
You’ll discover
1. How and why like phenomenally successful people you should set major goals.
2. How you can create success habits that build your success.
3. Discover ways to train your brain to embrace success and achieve on autopilot and much more to discover more click the picture below.
Click the image to find out more…..Can you see yourself with that person long-term do you have the same values-, beliefs-, or goals?
If not, why not, this will help you to become resilient no matter what happens because you have a good idea of what the big picture end result is going to be
Are you going to stay together and work harder to make it happen?
Or are you going to go your separate ways – if yes resilience through being pragmatic means you are more able to stop feeling bad because of leaving a bad relationship because it’s a waste of time and energy?
5. Be Present For Distressing Emotions
Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When you feel threatened, your nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, which rouse the body for emergency action.
Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and stamina, speed up your reaction time, and enhance your focus.
How do the most Phenomenally Resilient People deal with distressing emotions?
Like I said at the start of this video we all have to deal with stress sometime in our lives but You may feel like the stress is out of your control.
But you can always control the way you respond.
Stress management can teach you healthier ways to cope with stress, help you reduce its harmful effects, and prevent stress from spiraling out of control again in the future.
- Engage socially. the most phenomenally resilient People know that engage socially know that the simple act of talking face to face with another human being can release hormones that reduce stress even if you’re still unable to alter the stressful situation.
- Opening up to someone is not a sign of weakness and it won’t make you a burden to others. In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond.
Sleep Well, Eat Well, And Exercise Well
- It is so much easier to feel resilient when our bodies are in a balanced state. Take care to sleep well, eat well and exercise well so that your body and brain can confront challenges with calmness and clarity. When we feel strong and rested, we are more resilient Physical activity plays a key role in managing stress. Activities that require moving both your arms and your legs are particularly effective.
- Walking, running, swimming, dancing, and aerobic classes are good choices, especially if you exercise mindfully (focusing your attention on the physical sensations you experience as you move). Focused movement helps to get your nervous system back into balance. If you’ve been traumatized or experienced the immobilization stress response, getting active can help you to become “unstuck.”
So the most phenomenally resilient people Sleep Well, Eat Well And Exercise Well
And you should do the same.
Emotional Stress: Learn how to Manage & Overcome (bestonlinemd.com)
6 Become More Self-Aware
With this amazing core value, you’ll become more conscious of your character and inner thoughts and enjoy self-acceptance.
Jonathan Lethem could not have said it any better when he said –
“self-awareness doesn’t stop you from making a mistake it allows you to learn from them.”
The art of becoming more self-aware is the first step to being tolerant and patient with yourself. It gives you consent to appreciate yourself as a unique and very special individual. It also highlights your personal blueprint that carves you out as an amazing gem.
But how do you become more self-aware
Well Nickwignall.com states
10 Simple Ways to Improve Your Self-Awareness [With Examples] (nickwignall.com)
- 10 examples of how to improve your self-awareness
- Pay attention to what bothers you about other people
- Meditate on your mind
- Read high-quality fiction
- Identify your emotional kryptonite – not avoiding your emotion they say can unlock a wealth of insight about ourselves and our world if we’re willing to listen.
- Draw a timeline of your life
- Ask for feedback (and take it well)
- Do some micro-travel
- Learn a new skill
- Identify cognitive distortions – Cognitive distortions are inaccurate thoughts and beliefs that warp how we see things
- Make time to clarify your values
The most resilient people know that becoming self-aware helps them break the mound of regular mundane life and stand out on a regular basis.
Because they realized that they can leverage what strengths and characteristics you have to make them more resilient and you can do the same.
Continuing in a course of action in spite of opposition and immense difficulties is the sixth of the 7 Personal Core Values of Phenomenally Resilient People
7 Persistence
Sometimes it is only our ability to remain persistent that carves out our success and resilient people understand this and work through it.
Sylvester Stallone is the epitome of persevering and persisting, and he has worked hard to get where he is today. When he started work he had to take lots of odd jobs to survive, including cleaning cages at the Zoo. He then became homeless and had to sleep in a Bus Terminal for a few weeks until he gained a role in a pornographic film, which gave him enough cash to get started.
Stallone never gave up persisting and also became a screenwriter during this time. He wrote the Rocky Balboa script and found people willing to fund it, allowing him to play the leading character. As a child he was flat-footed and his mother enrolled him in tap dancing classes to improve his walk and balance.
Acting jobs were hard to come by, but he never gave up trying. Once his hard work paid off in 1982 many of his projects came to fruition and he began to reap the financial rewards. Both Rocky and Rambo were hugely successful and he has gone on to do other projects.
In 2010 Stallone made the Expendables, and he starred wrote and directed the film which cemented his None of this would have happened without his years of persistence.
While persistence is not something you can buy in a bottle it is something you can practice and master. All strong achievers have one characteristic overwhelming in common and that’s the ability to be persistent.
Conclusion
Traits that build resilience are fundamental not only for your development but for the development of the world. Resilience builds confidence which will allow you to become overcome setbacks and achieve the things that are most important to you. This will empower you to find the roadmap you need to build your dream life.
That being said, it’s important that we practice being resilient as parents and teachers. By doing this, we encourage resilience in our children. For it is the ultimate guide to staying motivated achieving goals and living a happy and remarkable life