your Why & core values

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Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY – Do you know the reason for your existence? Have you ever wondered what your purpose is?  If you’re running on empty and wondering what on earth you should be doing with your life this article will help you discover what your why truly is.  Surprisingly perhaps, unearthing the essence of what you believe in is the best place to start.

What Is Your Why?

Core Values and why

Your WHY is what really makes you want to wake up in the morning and do a double backflip summersault.

It is that thing that makes your heart sing and points the directions that will bring greater fulfillment and balance.  But to kick start your journey to finding you WHY I invite you to take a seat and consider the core of who you really are.

Problems Finding Your Why

I knew from an early age, that I didn’t want to follow the normal path. I was excited by the opportunity to beat to my own drum and follow a unique path that would make me fulfilled.  I soon realized, however, that society has a habit of telling us that in order to fit in we need to be like everybody else.

I remember when I was 18, I went to work in the city of London, standing in busy Victoria station on a weekday, I witnessed people marching, dashing, and jostling to get to the overground and underground station.

I recall being taken aback at how mindless and emotionless everyone appeared. It seemed almost as if they had been pre-programmed to get from A – B within the shortest time possible, regardless of whatever stood in their way.

These commuters had such indefatigable determination to get to work, I felt that even if there was a raging inferno they would just walk right into it, such was their oblivion to their surroundings.

“take a seat and consider the core of who you really are”

Society and core values

Surprisingly, however, I soon l realized that to survive the rat race, I would need to adopt the same pattern of behaviour as everyone else.

You see, without complying with what everyone else was doing, I wouldn’t be able to tune into the rhythm of mediocrity, assimilate into society and perform and behave in a way that was expected of me.

And at the tender age of 18, I was already conditioned to try to fit in, not to bump into any walls, or do anything to embarrass my family. I was also told I needed to do well at school, become self-sufficient by bagging a good job, and start a family.

You see, for the large part, society surreptitiously programs us from a very early age to live mediocre lives, leading to a boring and uneventful existence.

“WHY = Personal Core Values = Action = Personal Mission Statement = Fulfillment”

So almost from the day, we’re born our parents teach us not to challenge norms. This prevents us from connecting with our natural self, which makes it very difficult to find our WHY.

However, by taking the time to sit down and reflecting on what really brings meaning to each moment you can discover your WHY.  By self-reflection, you can highlight which of your fundamental values define who you are and ultimately determine how your future will play out.

I did exactly this and what happened to me was extraordinary. I suddenly saw my life as steps to achieving my personal life mission. The little things that would normally upset me and disturb my piece took a back seat. I began to look at my life on a higher level, I stopped complaining and bickering about the little things that would ordinarily make me feel down because I knew I had a greater mission.

Look around you, what in your life is important to you?

Is it worrying about how you’re going to pay your next bill?

Or is it meeting your goals, finding what makes you feel most alive?

Setting your life up for major success?

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7 Personal Core Values of Phenomenally Resilient People
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The Relationship Between Your Core Values
and Your Why  

Why are values

So how do your values impact your life?

Well, they are a reflection of who you are because they determine what decisions you make, the friends you keep, the person you choose to marry, and even affect how you choose to spend your money.

If you would like a definitive definition of what core values are and to discover how you can use them to supercharge your personal development read my article Personal Core Values List 600 Ultimate Guide by clicking on the link. 

However, the formula below explains how you can discover your WHY

WHY = Your Personal Core Values = Personal Mission Statement = Action =  Personal Fulfillment

I used the above formula to create a personal mission statement that has provided invaluable meaning and fulfillment to my life. My article 7 Hacks to Discover Your Personal Core Values.

Below is a copy of my personal mission statement based on my fundamental values.

Personal Mission Statement

A Life dedicated to fulfillment, happiness to achieve this I will

MAKE GOD – the centre of my life and obey his teachings and live a life centred around honesty, integrity, peace, joy, and love. At the heart of whatever I do is to serve others as God commands us to.

DEVELOP – an attitude of positivity, being empathetic, considerate, and understanding the needs of my family, friend, and my wider community.

UTILISE – my talents and abilities to be creative and imaginative to generate wealth both spiritual and financial that will enable me to live an independent responsible, trustworthy, and fruitful life.

COMMUNICATE – Positive values to the world through being a powerful communicator, storyteller, influencer, and author. To help enrich the lives of others and fight injustices using my legal skills.

EVOLVE – and increase in knowledge by acknowledging that I must continue to question negative thoughts, narrow-minded opinions. To develop positive habits, or rituals every day that will empower me and others.

TO ADD – value to every situation by finding strength through adversity, being humble and building an empowered vision for my life through my faith in God and my love for my family and my community.

“I acknowledge that life should be lived moment to moment and I should value the experiences that have lead me to this point, good or bad.”

Your outlook and attitude on life, in general, play a huge part in how happy we are in life and how successful we become. Someone who thinks positively about everything will be more relaxed, calm, and smile more than someone who is always looking on the bad side, who lets stress get to them, and who constantly wears a frown.

Self-Esteem Booster gives you the handy steps you need to boost your self-esteem and help you to see a brighter future.
You’ll be able to find your WHY because you’ll discover you have the inner motivation to take action and see results. To find out how this is all possible hit this link and start true belief in your potential right now!

Core Values and Fruits of the Spirit

Fruits of the Spirit

Just like I did, I would encourage you to sit down and create a similar mission statement so you can pinpoint the essence of who you are and what direction in life you should be heading.

As you can see from my personal statement, my WHY is heavily influenced by my Christian beliefs. This may not be the same for you but the same principles apply.

You see, creating a mission statement allows you to adjust your attitude, actions, and behaviour to align with your true purpose.

For me, my purpose is to love God first and then love others as we would love ourselves. Whilst you may not be a Christian, there may be lessons you can take away from this message.

“The power of humanity creates a feeling of purpose that we are all a part of one big picture”

If you examine your life, you’re a small part of something very big, which is all of creation. However, Christian beliefs serve to reinforce the value of who you are, no matter how small or insignificant you consider yourself to be. As Psalm 139:14 tells us you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

This illustrates that God knows everything about you and Luke 12:7 makes this clear and states –

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

If God knows every hair on your head and is the creator of the heavens and the earth, just imagine how blessed you are to be a part of his world. Even if don’t believe in God when you consider that you are a part of creation, the beauty of humanity plays a part in that.

“a mission statement allows you to adjust your attitude, actions and behaviour”

The power of humanity creates a feeling of purpose that we are all a part of one big picture. Our role and purpose should, therefore, be to care for and look after each other. This in itself is something we should all make an essential core value for our lives.

Your Why Based on Contribution To The World Around You

World and core values

As you instinctively navigate through life, the principle of giving back to your community will help you make greater sense of the world.

By focusing on positive values that contribute to the greater good you can not only discover your WHY but also foster other positive values. So values like self-acceptance, endurance, love, knowledge can bring greater balance in your life and build purpose and meaning to whatever goals you set for your future.

Your why will come naturally when you focus on the positive components of your life. Whatever your WHY is if it includes the desire to support and give to others all roads will lead to your fulfillment.

“Feeling fulfilled, satisfied and joy is ultimately what your WHY should be all about.”

By contributing to the world whether it’s by helping your family and the people you care about – to building a multinational business that benefits others you can give back to the world. This is a great way of reaping the rewards that will build your fulfillment.

So if your WHY is to build your own business and grow it to global portions – it should inspire contentment.

If it’s to support your community by offering first-class goods and services, – satisfaction should be a large part of your story.

One thing that is certain is that we each have our own unique WHY however, feeling fulfilled, satisfied and joy is ultimately what your WHY should be all about.

Discovering Your Personal Core Values

Why should joy play a large part in discovering your WHY?

This is because real joy, unlike happiness, is not based on the experiences that happen to you on the outside, it what happens to you on the inside. No one can take away your joy if you have real peace and satisfaction within.

The concept of real joy is so vast I’ve dedicated an entire article to it. If you would like an in-depth understanding of the power of joy as personal core values click this link, is Joy One To Core Values.

I’ve already mentioned how contributing to your society should also play a major part

in your WHY.

“assess the people in your life are they lighting your fire, or are they pissing on it.”

The Magic Formula for – Surprising Things Personal Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Magic formula

After you have defined your personal values you need to ask yourself whether you fully –

1. Understand them, 
2. Adopt them and can
3. Live them, the best way to do this is by creating a personal mission statement

Your WHY may change and evolve throughout the course of your life so it’s important to continually assess how they make you feel and whether it is leading you in the right direction.

“looking for dynamic, confident, forward-thinking individuals to move their company forward”

To do this, you’d do well to bear in mind what the American Actor and singer Will Smith said – you should always assess the people in your life, are they lighting your fire, or are they pissing on it.

In the same way, your core values need to be evaluated to determine first, whether you truly believe in them and secondly whether they are having the effect they should have in your life.

In effect, the question is are your core values driving you forward or moving you backward?

Practical steps to Discovering the – Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Surpring your why core values

I remember when I was 21, I had a burning desire to do something special with my life. I needed to find my WHY, something that could give my life meaning.

I was earnestly looking in the newspapers to find a job that would inspire me and help me develop a sense of purpose. I answered an advert for a job, an American company was looking for “dynamic, confident, forward-thinking individuals to move their company forward.” I knew that this was me because I knew I was hardworking and would do whatever it takes to succeed.

“Your WHY acts as a mirror reflecting who you are and what you wish to become.”

So, I called the number on the ad and was given an interview for the job.

After the telephone interview, I was asked to call in 30 minutes to determine whether I was successful in reaching the second stage of the interviewing process.

I called back and was told I had successfully passed the first interview and would need to attend a meeting to find out what the company was about and the job description.

I arrived to find a row of seats with one person sitting facing a whiteboard with loud music playing in the background.

After around 10 minutes the empty chairs were full of young people like me, eager to make something of their lives.

After about 15 minutes, a young American woman entered the room and immediately said we should put our hand on our shoulders and give ourselves a pat on the back for making it this far.

“Sometimes, when we’ve to search for you’re WHY we look in all the wrong places”

I then listen to an hour-long introduction about the company and about how successful it was and told why we should want to work for the company. I soon realized that the company was simply about selling ordinary products you could by almost anywhere like books, perfumes, soaps, and selling them for a premium.

The objective was to go cap in hand to different companies, hairdressing shops, bars, tanning houses, and businesses to sell the product.

We were then asked to go into an office and explain why we wanted to do the job. As I entered the room, I knew that my core values were telling me the job would not move my life forward, far from it, it would devalue it.

My fundamental values such as integrity and honesty set my alarm bells ringing and I realized I couldn’t justify taking the job.

Sometimes, when we’ve to search for our WHY we look in all the wrong places. The place we must start with is not a job but within ourselves.

Understanding the Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Looking for the why with core values

This section of the article is very well summed up by John Green who said

“I’m starting to realize that people lack good mirrors. It’s so hard for anyone to show us how we look, & so hard for us to show anyone how we feel.” ―

Your WHY acts as a mirror reflecting who you are and what you wish to become. Created from your personal mission statement it should grab you by the hand and fuel your desire to expose the untapped potential you already have.

It should also empower you to utilize your potential to excel at whatever you put your mind to.

As my story illustrates I use to struggle to find my WHY until I realized the place we must start with is not a job but within ourselves. If you would like to discover how you can achieve this, there are some very useful tools that I have used to help me with my personal growth journey. Hit this link if you would like to discover the tools I would recommend. 

Practicing the Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Sometimes, when we’ve to search for you’re WHY we look in all the wrong places

Living your WHY means waking out of bed in the morning and making it the most important priority. Of course, you will have other commitments like having to go to work, look after your children, etc but it’s important to find the time to work on what really makes you most fulfilled.

You can like many of the world’s most self-driven and purposeful people, who have discovered their WHY can relentlessly use it to build your life’s mission.

But, as the successful motivational speaker and entrepreneur Tony Robbins says, taking MASSIVE ACTION is required to make it happen.

“That little monkey has all the wrong answers to all the right questions”

I use to doubt myself wondering if I was really capable of living a meaningful and successful life. Until I discovered what my core values were. This caused me to really focus on what I wanted to achieve with my life.

A large part of how I managed to overcome my self-doubt, however, is when I started to take massive action.

Hopefully, your WHY produces motivates you to take action and belief you can make things happen. Positive core values like that the ones below will help you get over your limiting beliefs

Self-acceptance
Strength
Empowerment
Contribution
Resilience
Purpose
Community.

“These wounds often provide barriers preventing you from finding your WHY”

It’s important to remember, however, that no matter how committed you are to finding your WHY you may still have a monkey on your shoulder telling you you’ll never be good enough.

That little monkey has all the wrong answers to all the right questions, which can form a barrier to finding our true purpose.

Activity to identify for Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Core Values and why for growth

To overcome limiting beliefs we can assess the Psychiatrist and Physician Dr. John Pierrakos states that there are experiences that produce defenses against finding your authentic self.

He describes these as five wounds the principle was made popular by the famous French author, Lise Bourbeau who also links wounds into different body ties. However, this article will focus on the psychological implication of having such wounds.

“These wounds often provide barriers preventing you from finding your WHY”

These wounds are Abandonment, Rejection, Injustice, Humiliation, and Betrayal.

They often provide barriers preventing us from finding our true value. To understand this concept in more detail answer yes or no to each of these questions.

What Are Your WoundsSurprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Saddness and core values

  YES NO
Do you feel vulnerable regularly? (A)
When you were growing up did you feel a sense of being loved and wanted? (R)
Do you lack self-esteem? (A, R, H, I)
Do you regularly want to be by yourself? (R)
Do you take a long time to perform tasks? (H)
Do you find it hard to tell someone you need help? (I)
Do you think you’re reliable and responsible? (B)
Do you want to feel more significant and important and in life? (B)
Do you often doubt you’re making the right decisions? (I)
Do you hesitate or become anxious before you speak? (R, I)
Do you feel nervous and ill at ease before an event or undergoing changes in your life? (A)
Do you find that you need a drink to give your Dutch courage? (R, A, H)
Do you like acting? (B)
Do you always need people to be around you? (A)
Do you feel the need to support others all the time? (A, H, B)
Are you most believe you are right? Do you seek to convince others? (B)
Are you hard on yourself expecting more than you can deliver? (B, I)
Do you always expect things to be organized and structured around you? (B, I)
Do you usually distrustful of others? (R, B, I)
Do you put other people first before attending to your own needs? Do you find it easy to look after others than yourself? (H)
Do you often blame yourself; or feel guilt? (R, A, H, I)
Do you struggle on occasion to breathe clearly? (R, A, H)
Do you sometimes have low blood sugar? Or diabetes? (R, A, H)
Do you often have body tensions? (B, I)
Are you hypersensitive to being dirty (take a few showers a day, hate having hands dirty, etc.)? (H)
Do you easily get distracted and give up on your goal or objective over time?  (R, A)
Do you find yourself becoming impatient with others who are slow to act? (B, I)
Are you bulimic? Or do you struggle with an eating disorder? (H)

 

SCORING

CALCULATE ALL THE YES FOR EACH LETTER

(R)

REJECTION

(I)

INJUSTICE

(H)

HUMILIATION

(A)

ABANDONMENT

(B)

BETRAYAL

/10 /10 /10 /10 /10

Abandonment, Rejection, Injustice, Humiliation, and Betrayal  – Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for Your WHY

Lost and core values

Each letter RIHAB demonstrates a reason you may not have discovered your true purpose and may highlight an imbalance in your lives.

If you have scored a high in YES’s in any wounds number it can help you understand the reason you struggle to find your way.  Let’s discuss each wound in turn.

RejectedPerhaps you feel rejected because of something that happened in your past that lives with you and affects your self-confidence.

Injustice Alternatively do you seek to be perfect and justify yourself a lot to others. Do you find it difficult to admit you have a problem? Or perhaps you doubt your choices and put too much emphasis on obtaining order and demand others do the same. This can also lead to being over expectant of others while exposing your own weaknesses.

“I use to doubt myself wondering if I was really capable of living a meaningful and successful life.”

Humiliation – If you have scored high in humiliation you want to do everything for others. However, in reality, you want to create constraints and obligations for yourself to stop enjoying your freedom and life. This lack of enjoyment reinforces the feeling of being abused and humiliated.

Abandonment Those who suffer from abandonment do feel emotionally undernourished. They require constant support and assistance and doubt their ability to succeed at things on their own.  Their feelings are often chaotic and unbalanced, ranging from happy to sad very suddenly.  They overexaggerate small things and are often self-centered demanding everything to be about them.

Surprising Things Core Values Will Do for
Your
WHY

Betrayal – This is the final wound Those that exhibit this characteristic are very uncompromising. They have a strong need to demonstrate what they are capable of. They often complete people’s sentences they believe they know best. They demand that things should be completed at their pace and failure to do so will result in them becoming impatient. With a hard work ethic, they struggle with people who are lazy.

They despise not being trusted and they sometimes lack commitments or the ability to keep their promises. With a tendency of being impatient and intolerant, they confide with difficulty and avoid showing their vulnerability.

People with a betrayal wound have great difficulty accepting timid behaviour in others.

The first step to healing your wounds is to accept that you’re not perfect and no matter how much you live your fundamental values, you will always come across hurdles.

When you accept you’re not perfect you can then move on and recognize that you will go through feeling hurt and rejected.

The next step is to admit your fear and feeling of vulnerability and accept it as a part of life. However, you should understand that they do not define who you are and it’s okay to experience these things.

6 Core Values That Support Your WHY

Suprising your why

WHY = Personal Core Value = Personal Mission Statement =Action = Personal Fulfillment

Fundamental values can enable you to heal your wounds and here are some that can help you achieve it –

Self-acceptance
Adaptability
Satisfaction
Challenge
Decisiveness
Comprehensive
Creativity
Consistency
Differentiation
Cooperation
Character
Best
Cordiality
People
Completion

If you would like to learn more about finding your purpose and discovering your WHY click this link and start your journey to a brighter future.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Excellent read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing some research on that. And he just bought me lunch since I found it for him smile Thus let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! Demetra Weider Teevens

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