Why Is Love A Core Value? Love is one of the most complex emotions we can ever experience. For me, it has led me to feel secure and wanted but has also acted as a double-edged sword and made me hurt and confused. How has love affected your life? With such an important emotion, this article explains its many complexities.
What Is Love The Value of Love?
Love is arguably one of the most profound emotions we possess. It can create a euphoric adrenaline rush a strong feeling of passion, intensity, adoration, and affection.
“love as core values fundamentally influence our decisions“
Love can and often does give us a feeling of having extra special powers intensifying our emotions it can make us feel untouchable. The power of love can exhibit a dream-like state one which we never wish to wake up from.
Of course, love influences how we interact with others, providing an inner compass on how to behave, and how we feel, it directs our emotions. As a fundamental value, it is given even higher pride of place, influencing your decision-making in ways you perhaps might not realize.
In fact, not only does it impact who you choose to love and why it controls the intensity in which you do it.
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Although love is not something you can control, your core values fundamentally influence your decisions. Yes, of course, if we perceive others as attractive it can and does form part of our decision to date, someone. However, pure love in and of itself has a bigger part to play.
“core values can affect who you
choose to date.“
Did you know that who you ultimately decide to date and fall in love with can boil down to our fundamental values?
Your values help you to sniff out what it is your heart and your mind are truly pining for. This was illustrated in a program called Soulpancake. A couple went on a blind date and after asking each other a series of questions.
The woman asked the man whether he believes in God and he replied by saying he was an atheist. The man asked the woman what countries she had traveled to and she replied that she had been to four different countries.
“values trumped everything else”
After hearing each other’s answers to numerous questions they both decided not to date each other. When the man asked the woman why she was not a dating option, her response was that he was an atheist.
When the man asked the woman why she would not date him, the reason she gave was that she was not well-traveled enough.
They both came to the conclusion that the value they attributed to their faith and to being well-traveled, highlighted so fundamentally what they were looking for as a soulmate that it became a deal-breaker. Their values trumped everything else.
Another thing to what out for in the world of love is that there is a world of difference between simply being attracted to someone and being in love with them.
The difficulty is we often get the two very different qualities confused. However, tapping into your fundamental values should enable you to see the woods from the trees.
What Are The Different Forms Of Love
The incredible aspect of love is its ability to take many forms. You can have a love for God, love your partner your children your job, or even material possessions.
“Pragma: love with longevity, the love of a married couple.“
The ancient Greeks explain love in seven different ways
Storge: natural affection, the love you have for family members.
Philia: the love you share with your friends.
Eros: sexually stimulated love (positive or negative)
Agape: holy love, divine and unconditional
Ludus: not intense love, more superficial playful flirtations love.
Pragma: love with longevity, the love of a married couple.
Philautia: self-love (negative or positive)
Whatever form of love it is, it creates a form of attachment a sense of belonging and connectivity that is almost unexplainable. Is this why love is a core value?
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Why Is Love A Core Value?
Loving someone and connecting with what you hold as your fundamental value helps you align with the spirit of who you are and what you want to be.
It allows you to be fully authentic, natural, intuitive, and free. Along with this, it brings a greater sense of fulfillment, wholeness, and meaning to your life.
“love ….. doesn’t blame others“
No matter what form love takes when you enjoy pure, real love, it provides a greater intensity because it’s unconditional on what others say or do. It’s forgiving, generous, considerate, selfless, and generous.
“always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
The Christian perspective on love means it doesn’t blame others or become jealous, it’s not self-observing and does not entertain anger or divisiveness.
1 Corinthians 13:7 of the New International Version of the Bible (NIV) states that love:
“always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
While you might struggle to attain this high level of love, it’s well worth remembering that although love comes from within, its real value comes when it radiates outwards and impacts life in a profound and meaningful way.
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How To Demonstrate Love As A Core Value
Does your life reflect pure and true love?
Is your love kind, patient, forgiving, and honest?
A friend told me about a Scottish couple who were married for 69 years. They met each other as childhood sweethearts and were married at 18 and 19.
“love …..can create a lasting legacy of wholeness and joy”
Doing everything together they were so close they didn’t really crave the friendship of others, it was enough that they were together.
Their love extended far beyond the words they could express and they had many children together, which they saw as a symbol of their love.
One day, the husband had become very ill and was taken to a hospice, he was very ill. However, soon after entering the hospital, he told his wife he wanted to come home.
On arriving home, the couple lay in bed together, and the husband held his wife’s hand and whispered his undying love for her, and then slowly slipped away.
Love in its purest state makes life all worthwhile. It can build confidence, passion, desire, and so many complex emotions there are too many to name. However, the value of pure love transcends all other emotions, because….
It is so deep, so rich and so intense.
“Love creates a lasting legacy of wholeness and joy.“
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Do You Need To Love Yourself To Love Others?
Aristotle believed that love, when expressed as a virtue a prerequisite to loving others is self-love.
Is this true?
Many criticize this theory however, there’s an argument to be made that loving yourself, allows you to more easily love others.
Consider for a moment, the benefits of loving yourself.
Not only can it help cultivate your secret inner strength, but it can also help create an inner sense of euphoria and peace.
So instead of looking outside for validation and acceptance, you’ll experience emotional happiness at your core.
How amazing is that?
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‘Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s sanity. ‘
-Andre Gide.
Practicing self-love also encourages us to maximize self-belief and help build our self-confidence. It also has a significant part to play in mastering self-control helping you live life at a more purposeful and self-acceptance level.
If self-love builds confidence, it gives you the motivation to start winning and enjoy peak experiences. Positive love makes you see the good things in life more clearly and to creates steps for a brighter future.
“Self-love empowers you to embrace new opportunities.”
In fact, love allows you to break free from the rut and start maximizing your life, whatever that means to you. This is because loving yourself can inspire you to become a self-starter and allow you to discover a higher purpose.
Yes, it can encourage you to take responsibility for your own happiness.
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Why Love As A Core Value Is So Challenging
Of course, love can be both positive and negative.
Aristotle referred to love as a virtue. Love in its purest form brings harmony and a sense of well-being, fulfillment, and satisfaction.
It challenges you to look deeper within yourself and moves you to take action.
Do you want to intensify your love for someone you care about?
Yes, well you need to be willing to work on it by opening up and showing your vulnerability.
Here lays the first step to building a meaningful relationship.
“Love is also challenging…when someone we love doesn’t love us back.”
When you practice love as a core value, it becomes easier to prioritize.
With this, you’re going to be more willing to put more work into finding it and spend more time working on it.
Fortunately, therefore if you align your actions with your fundamental values the decisions you make become more in line with creating sound relationships that add value to people’s lives.
Love helps you value others for who and what they are rather than what you want to get from them.
It is, of course, challenging and often painful. However, it is at this time you should remember that –
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking”
Positive Love As A Core Value
A friend of mine, fell hopelessly in love with whom she was dating for many years.
“I really do love him” she declared
“But I don’t think he loves me as much as I love him,” she said.
I thought long and hard about the implications of what it meant to love someone more than they love you.
Clearly, just like the seven different ways to love, there are numerous degrees and stages of love.
Is real love 50/50, or does it really matter?
“is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
I can come to the conclusion that positive love at whatever stage or degree it is should be cherished because as Taylor Swift said
“I think the perfection of love is that it is not perfect”
Today it’s so difficult to find true meaningful love, have you tried online dating sites and found that they’re either all about hooking up for a one-nighter, or they’re full of people who are pretending to be something they’re not? “Real-world“ dating may not be working out so well for you either.
When “Love” Is Negative?
“Love” is negative when people use it to control or degrade others.
There are many instances where people say they love someone merely to use them for their own selfish end.
When this happens they often debase their victims by telling them they love them and that no one else will. This serves to stripe away their confidence and self-esteem.
The result often opens the door for the victim to be controlled and manipulated or worse.
“Negative relationships can often leave us feeling empty and mistrusting of others.”
There are numerous stories where both men and women are used by their partners for sexual, financial, emotional, or psychological gain all in the name of LOVE.
What follows is a case where “love” was used to control and destroy someone’s life but has a good ending.
Cyntoia Brown Case An Example of Love
As A Negative Core Value
Cyntoia Brown was imprisoned after being convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment in Tennessee.
“surviving multiple rapes and assaults.“
She had killed a 43-year-old real estate broker, who had taken her to his home to for sex for $150.
Brown was trafficked at the age of 16 years by her then-boyfriend who regularly exploited her for drugs and money. She was particularly vulnerable after being homeless and surviving multiple rapes and assaults.
Although Brown was a juvenile at the time, she was tried as an adult. Her appeal for clemency was supported by celebrities including Rihanna, LeBron James, and Kim Kardashian West.
The story is all too common where “love” is forged for purely sinister reasons.
Unfortunately, on 7 August 2019, the 33-year-old was eventually released after fifteen years.
“Practising self-love as a core value also allows you to value others“
The major issue with experiencing negative relationships is that it usually leaves us feeling empty and mistrusting of others.
But all is not lost, any negative relationship you be countered by practicing self-love. Along with this is an understanding that whatever situation you find yourself in, it should never define you.
When you feel down and lonely start loving yourself. Please remember you’re able to truly love yourself with or without being in a relationship.
Your true value will shine through and when others witness it, they will love you for who you are. This is why love is a core value that should never be taken for granted.