6 Ways To Avoid Being Used In a Relationship: In this article, I want to share with you 6 Ways To Avoid Being Used In a Relationship. While I was working as a lawyer, I saw many clients being manipulated by their partner, and by that I mean although they had a gut feeling that the man or woman they were with was disrespecting them, they didn’t do anything about it.
And if you’re going through the same thing, you will discover how to stop being manipulated.
Stop being gaslighted because your partner is making you feel as if you are wrong when you know you’re right.
Stop your partner from making you feel guilty or ashamed to force you to do what they want you to do.
Instead, you will feel valued respected, and even empowered.
I want you to stick with me on this article because you’re going to be amazed at how this will transform your relationship. And at the end, I will reveal the most important step you need to take to not only stop being used but to take your relationship to a whole need level.
You can choose to watch the video which contains the same content as this article. Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel by clicking this link, as I would love to continue empowering you in your relationship and in your personal growth journey.
1. So the First Way To Avoid Being Used In a Relationship
Is to recognize why it is happening to you in the first place. Because very often it’s easy to think it’s your fault and internalize which can really impact on your self-esteem.
So why is it happening to you?
Well, I researched this and it revealed that chances are the person you’re with (not you) witnessed one of their parents or guardian avoid confrontations by subtly tricking or manipulating the other partner or being deceitful
And they were able to get what they wanted.
And the effect of having your partner see that their parent was able to get what they wanted by manipulating people is a much easier way to deal with a problem and avoid confrontation at the same time.
So, every time they see these manipulative tactics working, it is reinforced in their mind that they should be doing the same thing.
So, the important thing here is not to blame yourself for what is happening to you, because it isn’t your fault but am going to come back to that later.
2. The Second Way To Avoid Being Used In a Relationship is to recognize when it is actually happening.
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And this is important because often times your partner will use different tactics to make you feel guilty and insecure and may be looking to shame you to get you to do what they want.
I’ll give you a few examples, it could be insisting on being taken to a restaurant and ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.
And then when the bill comes suddenly there is nowhere in sight, or they pretend they can’t see the bill.
Or it could be more subtle by giving you a sob story about how they grow up, telling you there were deprived and that ever since they met you their life has been changed because you’re the only person that understands them.
They may build you up just to knock you down if you don’t do what they say, so they may ask you for money, by telling a story and then make you feel guilty if you don’t give it to them.
Or they may test your loyalty by telling lies about people you care about, in an attempt to exclude you and alien you from you, so they can wheel more power over you.
Another example is taunting you, to see how you react to break down your morale to force you to feel dependent on them.
And this will have the effect of knocking down your confidence, so you have no choice but to turn to them.
This kind of scenario creates the perfect setting for the person you’re with to use and manipulate you.
3. The third way to Avoid Being Used In a Relationship is to accept the fact that you are being manipulated
And I’m borrowing heavily from Lovepanky.com 21 Ways to Stop Being Manipulated & Used By Someone You Love & Trust (lovepanky.com)
They say it’s very easy to know how to stop being manipulated in a relationship. But it’s extremely hard to bring yourself to make that change.
However, it starts with being honest with yourself because ‘You need to realize that you’re a victim, and you need to realize that you need to change forever because you don’t stand to gain anything by being used by everyone around you.’
If you don’t like the word victim, then you simply need to understand that you are being used and manipulated and that it is happening to you and not because of you.
And the truth is when your partner uses and manipulates you, you really own in your gut what is happening to you. But for whatever reason, you’re not doing anything about it.
But what you need to understand is every time you do what the manipulator asks of you it will affect your self-esteem and make you feel weak and devalued.
It’s often a toxic situation to be in and like I said can lead to feelings of depression, guilt, and shame.
So understand that you are suffering from emotional blackmail which you can do something about.
4. So the first action you should take to Avoid Being Used In a Relationship is to speak to your partner and let them understand just how bad you feel about being used.
Because like I said before they probably saw a parent or perhaps a guide get what they wanted from using others and maybe they did not even realize that this was the case.
Or maybe they went through a past trauma that has made them react in this way.
But the truth is when you speak to your partner, it will boost your ability to be able to say no to their demands.
And because you have confronted your own inability to make your voice heard it will give you the courage to represent yourself and your need to be valued.
So how does this play out in real life?
Well, your partner comes in and says they’ve been having a really tough time at work lately, and they’ve been forced to take time off work unpaid.
So they need you to lend them some money.
However, you know for certain that they haven’t taken time off work. What do you do? Will Lovepanky.com states you explain yourself calmly and tell them you’re not going to give them any money.
They also say you don’t have to say no right away. You can build up to it by explaining why you won’t do what they want you to do.
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Back to the article, if your partner asked you for money you should explain that they have been working, so should have money to take care of their needs.
I know it could make you feel awkward, but believe me, when start doing it, your strength will grow and you will start feeling better about yourself.
It’s about giving you the energy you need to really be yourself. And taking back your power, not giving it away to someone else who will just take it for granted.
It’s also about setting boundaries and knowing your principle and values and being assertive.
LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships states you need to remind yourself that you’re an adult and no one has the right to manipulate you or bully you into doing something you don’t want to do.
So, if it is happening to you and you’re not prepared to do something about it, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask why you are allowing this to happen to you.
Is this because you find it difficult to accept yourself because of what has happened to you in the past?
I have a video that can help you out it’s called How to Accept Yourself 3 Steps to Self-Acceptance. Please check it out below: If you want to read the article, hit the linkÂ
5. The fifth way to avoid Being Used In a Relationship is to speak to your partner and let them understand just how bad you feel about being used.
And this is a part of looking at yourself in the mirror. When I was working as a lawyer, I recognized that being used often happened because my client’s felt they were dependent on their partner.
And if you feel the same way make sure you separate yourself from your partner by being about to look after your financial, emotional, and social. So, that means having your own money your own friends, and your own support network outside of your relationship.
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Back to the article…..
6. The sixth way you can avoid being used in a relationship is by being strong and resistant to any attempts by your partner to force you to yield to what they want.
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Back to the article, the reason you need to be strong and resistant is that your partner may try to lull you into a forced sense of security by making excuses for their behaviour or buying you lavish gifts to lead you into a false sense of security.
Because the whole point of a user is to exercise control over you.
But by being strong you will avoid falling into their trap. As www.lovepanky.com states
‘Convincing as they may seem, be strong and don’t give in to their demands, even if you feel obligated because they’re being so nice to you.’
To do this you may have to beat them at their own game by doing what they are doing to you.
So, you might ask them for money, so they can see how you feel when they ask you. That way they get a taste of their own medicine.
If you’re being used in your relationship it’s about not making them play their game, don’t ask permission to take advantage of you.
Understand and know that you’re a very special person, you’re our kind but you don’t have to be overly polite and let your partner use you. 6Ways To Avoid Being Used In a Relationship:
It’s about taking responsibility for your life and walking away from the relationship if things don’t change.
Most of all, it’s knowing and understanding that you deserve to be treated with respect and there is a person out there that will do just that.