3 Harsh Truths You Must Know to Accept Yourself I would like to ask you a question, are you someone that puts the best out there and the vulnerable part, you keep to yourself and no one else sees.
Well, that is the part that you don’t accept about yourself.
In this video, I’m going to open you up to discover 3 Harsh, harsh, harsh truths you Must Know to be able to fully accept Yourself. I’m going to be drawing a lot of information out of you that you perhaps didn’t even realize about yourself.
In this article, I’m going to be using powerful quotes to illustrate 3 Harsh, harsh, harsh truths you Must Know to be able to fully accept Yourself.
The first Harsh Truth You Must Know to Accept Yourself
THE WORLD DOESN’T OWE YOU ANYTHING – SO YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT
There are so many things you might not accept about yourself
Maybe you think you are not attractive enough
Not smart enough?
Am too fat, too skinner?
Not rich enough.
Not tall enough, not confident enough? My hips are too big, my nose is too large?
There are so many things we can despise ourselves for. You’re living in a small, cramped apartment and don’t get along with the people in around you.
You have problems at work, or with your family, or you don’t have any family and your alone and feel isolated.
And it’s moments like this that the world can and will if you let it, eat your heart out and spit you out and say, well that didn’t taste good.
Like I said at the start of this article Are you someone that puts out the best out there and the vulnerable part, you keep to yourself and no one else sees.
That’s the part that you don’t accept yourself.
The reality is you’re not owed health, safety, food, shelter, happiness, love, of anything else for that matter.
So, what does this mean for you – well it can lead to you deflated and feeling as if the world and his wife are out to get you.
Well, if this happens friends, I have news for you, the world and his wife will be after you.
Why? Because more often than not, you attract what you are thinking and the self-fulling prophecy becomes true.
You can therefore attract what you believe.
And the first quote I am going to look at is from the Bible which says.
- “And all things, whatsoever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.” – Matthew 21:22
- “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” – Matthew 7:7
-This is not about obtaining material wealth as some people but. believing that through prayer if you truly believe you shall receive.
So as Out of Stress state
“If you believe in your heart that you are not good enough, then you will continue to see things in your outer reality that re-affirm that belief”.
So how does this tie in with self-acceptance – Well, look at yourself in the mirror
Stop reading this article right now and look at yourself in the mirror.
What do you see?
Well, am guessing you saw a reflection of yourself.
But you see, there is more than a reflection in that mirror.
But the world will never tell you that.
That is why I wrote the ebook – 7 Core Values of The Most Phenomenally Successful People
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
This statement sums up the ethos of this eBook which will take you step-by-step to embrace your best self and become phenomenally successful.
How do you achieve this?
Tapping into your powerful personal core values that you may not even know you have but, can take your life to the next level and allow you to become phenomenally successful.
It’s not about where you are now, where you come from, or even how much money you have, it’s about using what you have to build your own unique style of success. Click this link to discover more –
LIKE I SAID BEFORE – THE WORLD DOESN’T OWE YOU ANYTHING – SO YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT
There is so much more going on, whether you think you’re not attractive.
You’re too poor
Too angry, too selfish, whatever it is you can’t accept yourself for.
Once you’re able to look in the mirror and accept that you may never get what you want and are prepared to accept it.
I want to say that again, you may never get what you want from life.
But that doesn’t make you any less of a person.
If you start to accept this, you will begin your journey to self-acceptance.
But the world will never tell you to accept, you have to tell yourself.
So what do you tell yourself Amy Bloom got it right when she said.
Marilyn Monroe got it right…..
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain
“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the “I”.”
― Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu
“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”
― Amy Bloom
So am going to ask you a question, are you beautiful?
Hold that thought until the end of this article when I will ask you again.
2… HOW YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF IS DIFFERENT FROM HOW THE WORLD PERCEIVES YOU.
Penstate cognitive psychology. How We Perceive the World | Psych 256: Cognitive Psychology FA16 – 002 (psu.edu)
In the article Why We Cannot Perceive the World Objectively, Michalko (2011) writes that people ultimately see what they expect to see.
That being said, if you have a poor perception of yourself, you will expect to see that reflected in the world around you.
Notice I did not use the term, “wish.” As he goes on to state that the perception of our environment is not based on “wishful thinking.” Perception is an active process where our senses receive input from stimuli around us that then build our own reality (Michalko, 2011).
So what does this mean, will what you perceive about yourself and the world is based on your own stimuli around you, what do you perceive which may or may not be true.
So why do you do this? Well, the article explains this.
We engage in this process in order to understand and be aware of our environment. The way we perceive things is influenced by our past experiences as well as the stimuli received by our receptors. Michalko also emphasizes that perception can be altered by the observer’s expectations or presumptions.
So, let’s relate this to what your perception of yourself is?
What are your expectations and presumptions about yourself?
Are you beautiful? Hold that thought.
There was an experimental study conducted that was highlighted in the article in which playing cards were shown to a group of participants
Now we all know that a normal pack of cards has black spades and red hearts
However, some cards being used were normal and others contained red spades and black hearts.
The experiment showed the participants were able to identify the normal cards faster and more accurately than those that were manipulated.
Why does this happen and how does it affect your ability to accept yourself.
Well, the author maintains that this is due to the fact that patterns of expectation are deeply ingrained within us and they continue on even when we are presented with stimuli that contradict our typical perception schema.
This, therefore, means he goes on to state objectivity in the way we perceive our environment can be difficult to achieve. (Michalko, 2011)
So let me break it down for you.
The stimuli you feed yourself
Your past experiences,
your expectations of yourself
presumptions you hold about yourself.
Are an integral part of whether you are able to accept yourself?
So, let me ask you the question what do you feed yourself?
Think about this while I provide you with some powerful quotes of what you should be thinking about yourself.
“”” What you think of yourself is much more important than what others think of you.” – Seneca
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
“You’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. Golda Meir
Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self. Karen Salmansohn
“Accept yourself, for you are who you are, and who you are, is good enough”
“When you’re prepared to sit down with yourself, have a cup of tea with yourself, look in the mirror at yourself, and say hey, I’m grateful for being just me – it is the beginning of something very special”
Psalm 139:14 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
So friends did you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?
No matter what you think about yourself, you are wonderfully made.
I want you to understand just how much that means.
So ask yourself the question why don’t I accept myself despite my inevitable shortcomings which by the way we all have and can never escape?
That is a question for you to consider?
Is it because your past stops you from accepting yourself?
Well hear this:
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
― Mother Theresa
“The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind.”
― Kiran Desai, The Inheritance of Loss
“Know that whatever you have done in the past, does not define you, and will never be the tool by which you are measured, it is what you do today, at this moment that counts. It starts with accepting yourself no matter what, for it is the beginning of being kind to yourself and loving yourself just the way you are”
“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
“Just because you didn’t before, doesn’t mean you can’t now”
I want you to still ask yourself the question why can’t you accept yourself
Is it because you don’t expect anything good of yourself?
Well hear this:
“Expectation has brought me disappointment. Disappointment has brought me wisdom. Acceptance, gratitude, and appreciation have brought me joy and fulfillment.”
― Rasheed Ogunlaru
“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.”
Søren Kierkegaard – Danish philosopher and theologian 1813-1855.
“find out what’s holding you back from accepting yourself, if it’s self-doubt, you got this, if it’s because you think not one likes you, you got this, if It’s because you think you not smart enough, tall enough, confident enough, bold enough, you got this. “Whatever it is that stops you from accepting yourself, you got this, you know why. Because you are fearfully and wonderfully made”
Elaine Daley – Psalm 139:14
“Never forget to be who you are, because who you are is the most important thing you will ever be”
The expectations you have for yourself doesn’t really matter, what matters is you accepting that while you may never reach your expectation you had fun trying.
Presumptions you hold about yourself.
Are you unable or unwilling to accept yourself because of the presumption you hold about yourself?
Well hear this:
“Never presume that you are less than them you are because who you are, is more than you can ever imagine”
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Abraham Lincoln
“What is coming is better than what is gone.” Arabic Proverb
“Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you imagined.” Anonymous
“ find your path to success, by loving who you are, being who you are, and accepting who you are”
So friends no matter what you think of yourself, whether you feel that your past stops you from accepting yourself, whether
Because of the expectations or presumptions, you hold about yourself
Because you are wonderfully and fearfully made.
3. TAKE OFF THE MASK
You walk into a room full of people what do you feel?
Are people looking at you?
What do people see?
What do you see that people see?
The fact is that all of us wear masks, whether we are aware that we are wearing them or not.
Masks can help you to cope with whatever you are going through. And there are great coping mechanisms for us to hide behind.
Are you someone that puts out the best out there and the vulnerable part, you keep to yourself and no one else sees?
psychologytoday.com can help us understand why and how we do this they say
We are all in this process of hiding ourselves behind our well-built walls, we may think we are protecting ourselves from pain, and perhaps to some extent we are—at least in the short term.
However, there is another—some say even greater pain than that of loss—that life throws our way. And that is the pain of regret, of knowing that we missed out on an opportunity due to our own fear, including the potential for love and connection.
The essence of his quote is that when you hide behind a mask it stops you from feeling the emotions you need to progress and accept yourself
The pain of accepting yourself
I talked about looking at yourself in the mirror and I asked you the question what do you see.
But the first thing I should really have asked you is
Were you able to find you?
What do I mean?
Can you recognize who you are?
What do you stand for?
What makes you, you?
We often look at ourselves in the mirror and we are a completely different person to who we thought we were.
And I would like to tell you a story to illustrate this.
One day a Pastor said to his congregation, next Sunday after church service, I am going to hold a meeting with the leaders and worship members.
So the following Sunday, the members and the worship leader stay after church to attend the meeting.
The Pastor had prepared to refreshments for the members to enjoy.
After the food was prepared and served to the members the Pastor asked each member to say what special qualities each of them thought they had.
He asked this to try to see what special talents each member could bring to the church to benefit the local community and spread God’s message. But did not tell the members this.
The Pastor went to each member and asked them the same question.
He then got to the last member
What particular talents do you have, what do you think you do easily that others struggle to do?
The member looked at the other members who had given a long list of special qualities they had, and then looked down at the table and said.
Well, I don’t have any special talents, I’m still trying to work out what I do that other people struggle at doing.
Embarrassed that she was unable to explain a single special talent she began to cry.
At this, each member immediately began to list many many talents the member had.
You’re a great counselor one member said – for this was a member who listened to everyone’s troubles and was able to give a kind word.
You’re an amazing cook – This member often cooked for the church on special occasions and was a master and cooking food for the homeless and providing them with basic necessities such as toiletries and clothes.
You’re a fantastic organizer – for this member frequently organized amazing trips to the seaside for the congregation and members of the community.
Each church member continued to list several things the member was good at but didn’t even know.
What is the moral of this story?
Sometimes we were a mask that hides how special we really are.
But hear this:
“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.” – Andre Berthiaume
Take off the mask that confines you because.
“You don’t need the world to accept you if you have accepted yourself.”
― Matshona Dhliwayo
So I’m going to ask you again
Are you amazing?
The answer to the question is yes.
Now I want you to write down 10 things about yourself that you are special
It could be as simple as making a good cup of coffee, to being a good listener to things that you have done to help others for example your friends or family.
Write them do then think about each thing you have written and create a mental picture in your mind of you doing these things.
This will help you remember how truly special you are, and ensure you accept yourself for who you are.
Because you are most likely doing amazing things but, just like the church member do not realize it.
So, get ready to be you.
Get ready to accept you
Get ready to live you……
And most of all get ready to love you…..
”Self-Acceptance starts with loving yourself and forgiving yourself”
Because believe me: You’re unique, so you do you!